I was in a recovery meeting
a few years ago and this pretty famous, two-time award –winning actress was
sharing that she was struggling – not with booze, but with her recent fall out
of the limelight (and the resulting “broke-ness” that followed). She was lamenting about having to rely on the
kindness of her more prosperous actor friends while waiting for her agents to
come up with some role worthy of her status.
She said that she was sickened by the idea that she might have to take some
“menial” job until the next great part came along. She said that she didn’t know if she was cut
out to live like “other people” and then she burst into sobs.
I watched her intently while she cried (honestly, I’m sure
my mouth was wide open as I was a big fan of hers and had never before seen her
in person) wondering, if she was crazy or correct. Okay, it’s easy to see the truth now in
hindsight, but at the time she was incredibly convincing about her plight (hey
– she didn’t win those two awards for nothing!). So convincing that even though I left the
meeting unbelievably annoyed that she expressed so much dread about living the
way “other people” did (I.e. me), I also thought, “Hmmm - maybe she is making
the right choice by sticking to her guns and not “settling” for a day job. Like maybe there’s some honor in her waiting for
that next award-winning part.”
Also maybe there
should be some sort of separate recovery meetings for people struggling with
the loss of celebrity…
It was around this same time that a kid named Jordyn Owens
joined my son’s, Miles and Justin’s basketball team. Besides Miles and Justin, Jordyn
was the only other “mixed” kid on the court (and quite the phenomenal point
guard). That, coupled with the fact that our boys really got along, made it
natural for my ex husband and I to gravitate toward his parents, Geoffrey and
Josette. Many are the time that I would
climb past all the other parents on the bleachers (smiling polite “hellos” and
“excuse mes”) to sit up next to the Owenses.
They would do the same if we were there first. It was a nice, unspoken camaraderie, safe and
easy.
Josette is a pistol – fun loving and personable (with an
enviable head of shining, dark brown hair). Geoffrey is mild-mannered, well
spoken and kind -- rarely speaking though, while the ball was in play. He kept his eyes trained on his son the
entire time and his rare outbursts were usually because of a bad call from the ref
or a whoop for another coast-to-coast play by Jordyn. When Geoffrey wasn’t working (acting) both he
and Josette were at every practice and game. I was always struck by Geoffrey’s
fierce devotion to his family and by their devotion to each other. I was sad when they moved back east in
2010.
I’ll stop here and say that for those of you who may have
been consumed this week with the fervor surrounding the Supreme Court Justice
confirmation hearings, the anonymous New York Times op-ed or the
Nike/Kaepernick ad campaign, there is another great little story going around
that also deserves your attention. It’s about
the job shaming of a former Cosby Show actor. Have you seen it?
Yes, that Geoffrey Owens.
Mr. Owens was photographed at his former job (Trader Joes)
where he bagged groceries for 15 months.
Fox News posted it in an apparent effort to shame him, but this
wonderful thing happened instead. Quite
without meaning to, by posting that photo of Geoffrey at work, Fox News
launched an honest to goodness, “trending” hashtag hero -- #realman #geoffreyowens #actorswithdayjobs #hero.
When I saw Geoffrey‘s interview on Good Morning America this Tuesday, I was
struck again, not just by his devotion to his family, but also by his
humility. It is rare, I think to see anyone
in his chosen profession exhibiting that kind of “Zen energy” when his or her
identity has been called into question. I was
so proud when I watched how he fielded the questions, handled the attention. I think I felt like I had something to do
with it because I have a personal connection with him and his family ("Hey,
hey! I know that guy! Our kids used to play basketball
together!").
It also struck me after watching his segment, how very wrong
that famous actress had actually been (obvi).
There was no honor in her living off of her more fortunate friends. There was no dignity in refusing honest work
while she waited for the right part. And there was no humility in voicing her
cowardice about the possibility of having to "live like other people."
I just really love that Geoffrey didn’t even know he was trending
on Twitter until Robin Roberts told him.
I adore the fact that he was genuinely surprised to find out that Tyler
Perry had been watching him trend and offered him a role in his new
OWN series. An offer, which Geoffrey has apparently, now accepted (he'll appear in 10 episodes!).
That actress by the way, was
also in the news again recently (though not for the same reasons as our Mr. Owens, unfortunately). She is apparently facing some petty burglary
charges -- a burglary which took place just a few miles away from where Geoffrey did his first, exclusive
interview this past Tuesday. Her item was
minor news for a day or two (while Geoffrey is still a trending topic on Twitter as I write this). Side note - apparently rapper, Nicki Minaj, was also so inspired by his hashtag story that she announced her intentions (yesterday) to "donate" $25K to him.
Hmmmm...
Hmmmm...
Honor verses ego, dignity verses degradation, humility
verses humiliation. So thanks Fox News,
for not only highlighting the fact that there are still men and women who are making all
the right choices -- but that Geoffrey
Owens is one of them.
#realman
#hero
#actorswithdayjobs
#geoffreyowens
#realman
#hero
#actorswithdayjobs
#geoffreyowens
Thank you for underscoring the respect due to those of us who are honorably earning a living - regardless of the job status. As a former actress, formerly impacted by celebrity-loss, I speak from experience when I say, “that struggle is real on so many levels”. Still, nothing justifies ego inspired mooching! BTW maybe there should be a recovery program for “celebratory loss” �� sending you love #DrTroy
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